Becoming a boy
Is not about
getting a beard.
I looked like a boy
but I didn‘t feel like one.
I wanted to be a man.
but i was a girl.
dressing up like a man
was just the beginning
of the wish to throw away
the man‘s masquerade
and become a real one.
I want to be seen as one.
I want to go through the city as a man
but i need to grow
And to built muscles,
to become a man
i can identify with.
I don´t want to be
A girlish man,
i thought.
And by thinking this,
I wondered,
if my desire in men
was kind of primitive.
becoming a boy
is not about
getting a beard.
becoming a boy
was rather about
the frustration of being a boy
and not a man.
It was about
changing the perspective
on yourself and your images
and your construction of
the other that is you.